Ron Swanson Quotes

About Ron Swanson:

Ronald Ulysses Swanson is a fictional character portrayed by Nick Offerman from the situational comedy television series Parks and Recreation, created by Greg Daniels and Michael Schur. in this series, Ron is a person who grew up in a small fictional town of Indiana, Pawnee with the population of only 600 people. Ron is shown as the person who hates lying more than anything, it’s shown that he hates lying so much that he was willing to lost a lawsuit because he doesn’t want his witnesses to lie. Ron is shown as the person who loves to eat unhealthy cholesterol foods so much that every day for the last 12 years, he has eaten a hamburger from the commissary for one of his lunches. He also has a food named after him “The Swanson” bacon wrapped turkey leg at one if the local food trucks.

But what Ron Swanson story revolves around is that he is very funny but a dedicated character who wants to make his city a better place. Also, he believes in saving tax payer’s money. In his tenure as a director of the parks and recreation he always brought the department in under budget. Ron believes in the elimination of government wastes. In his tenure he shut down many unnecessary recreational spaces like Portola Skate Park, the Grice Dog Run, the Morris-Easton Observatory and the Mohanga Native. he also keeps a clay more and a sawed-off shotgun at his desk, so people who ask unnecessary questions have to stare down the barrels. he also enjoys woodworking, Ron from early age has an amazing talent for wood working and likes to build things, he also won an award for the chair he makes.

In his personal life, Ron is the former husband of two women Tammy Swanson and Diane Swanson, Tammy Swanson his first wife was the Candy Striper who helped him deliver and was also his Sunday teacher, elementary math teacher, baby sitter and Drivers Ed instructor. In general Ron is a very funny and relatable character to explore.

What Makes Ron Swanson Quotes Special?

Reason why people loves Ron Swanson quotes so much is because of how comparable it is to real life. although Ron Swanson is just a fictional character but the way he approaches his life and enjoys his life. how he works hard to make his dream come true can be real inspiring to people. here are some of the best Ron Swanson quotes we have gathered for you, if you’re who don’t know Ron Swanson these quotes will surely make you in love with his character and make you wanna explore more about this character.

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Best Ron Swanson Quotes

1. “The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do so. To me, that’s beautiful.”

2. ” Next thing you want to do is ditch the terrier and get yourself a proper dog. Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless.”

3. “Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor.”

4. “There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.”

5. “The government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer’s teat until they have sore, chapped nipples.”


6. “Only women shave beneath the neck.”

7. “Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.”

8. “I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.”

9. “If any of you need anything at all, too bad. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults.”

10. “Fishing is for sport only. Fish meat is practically a vegetable.”

11. “On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.”

12. “Normally, if given the choice between doing something and nothing, I’d choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I’d work all night, if it meant nothing got done.”

13. “One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it.”

14. “It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.”

15. “I’ll have the number 8. That’s a party platter, sir. It serves twelve people. I know what I’m about, son.”

16. “There’s only one thing i hate more than lying: skim milk. which is water that’s lying about being milk.”

17. “Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.”

18. ” Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards.”

19. “When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.”

20. Leslie: “Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?”

Ron: “People are idiots, Leslie.”

21. ” My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing he’s allowed to decide is who to nuke. The man is chosen based on some kind of IQ test, and maybe also a physical tournament, like a decathlon. And women are brought to him, maybe…when he desires them.”

22. “Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait … I worry what you heard was, ‘Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.’ What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?”

23. “I’m not interested in caring about people.”

24. “Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars.”

25. “I’d wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.”

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